On arguing why cling to an ex that took her for granted
- Seducing Mr. Perfect

Ask anyone, all they ever yearned for is the one. Thousands of books have been written, rules have been laid out, for some all it takes is to follow them. But what most people don’t know is that love is a philosophy. Finding the right one takes more than the usual ordinary rituals.

1. Love doesn’t happen by chance. It happens by choice. People you develop a relationship with are not just random people you meet. These are the people you attract because you subconsciously want them to. And honey, you don’t just give in to just anyone who passes by right? So it’s still your choice to give the relationship, a try and a chance. 

2. Love means work. Do not rely on destiny or fate. You’re old enough to know that you make your own destiny and you could never ever fall into the mistake of relying everything to fate. So he loves you now but that doesn’t mean you have to be complacent in believing he’ll love you forever. You two have to do your own share on things. Keeping a relationship isn’t that easy, its not really give and take, its more of the willingness to be open, honest and respectful.

3. To have the perfect man, be the perfect woman. A beautiful lady once said that, “If I wanted to have the perfect man, then I’ll have to be the perfect woman. So I’m going to work hard to be that person so that when the day comes, we’ll be perfect for each other.” If you want to be treated like a queen, you have to act like a queen. Some girls have complained that their guys have been taking them for granted. Truth is, they wouldn’t  if you wouldn’t let them. Most girls tolerate a guy’s insensitivity, and guys get used to it. The reason they become complete jerks and assholes is because you let them treat you like that. So snap out of it, become the person that you wanted to be treated right.

4. Feed his ego. One way to make him fall for you, is to make him feel good about himself. Careful not to over do this ’cause you’ll look pathetic. Rule of thumb is to keep it simple and
subtle. A sweet smile every time you say thank you, a second brush of your hand to his arm while having a conversation, a compliment through saying your favorite color is the exact color of the shirt he’s wearing. This will already do

5. Mind games. If you’re both into toying with each others heads (because you can’t just stop grinning every single time you deliver a seemingly effective line) then go ahead savor the game of love. Just make sure that you’re playing on the same team, and are in it to win each other’s hearts. But if it becomes a competition, keeping tabs, not letting the other party win over, somebody’s really going to lose and have his/her heart broken.

6. Self-respect. Be sure to keep this intact because you’re going to end up being taken advantage of and used. Not because you love him, you should be always the one giving in to whatever he wants. Not because you love him, you should just go do everything for him. Throw. Fawn. Sacrifice. Know your worth and like what I’ve said, let him do his share. Having self-respect for yourself entails knowing that girls have egos and dignity and acknowledging the fact that you need those two things for guys to treat you right.

7. A complete surrender means vulnerability. The first one to give in to his/her feelings, doesn’t necessarily lose, but is the person prone to get hurt. There’s nothing wrong with this. Just keep in mind that giving yourself to that person already gives him/her the right to hurt you. So be careful, don’t give in too easily. (Take it from me, it hurts like hell.)

8. Look beyond the words. Not every thing that comes out of his/her mouth is true. Not because they’re lying or anything. It’s a defense mechanism to deny what they are feeling so they try to tell you the opposite. Why? Just to save face, no one wants to look like an idiot, right? Some would try to shoo you away but secretly want you badly. Or worse, tell you that they like you when all they want is to get into your pants. Words doesn’t always express one’s feelings. So how do you know if he/she’s telling the real deal? Only you can tell, without a shadow of doubt.

9. Stop blaming yourself for whatever went wrong. Mistakes happen and they are there for a reason. And it’s to learn. So learn. My gawd. If you don’t know what went wrong then ask. That’s what closures are for. If not, try to depict a pattern (there usually is) and try to see what’s the missing link between you and the perfect relationship. It’s not always your fault that things didn’t turn out too well. If it didn’t work out, it just simply says they’re not the right guys for you.