Tear Worthy Moments

Last Night

His text message goes :

….papakilala mo bf mo. ‘yung di lang sino sino. ‘yung marunong di katulad ko. ‘yung mayaman di tulad ko. ‘yung kaya mong ipakilala sa parents mo di katulad ko, at mamahalin ka, di katulad ko na hindi mo minahal.”

            I was bursting in tears after reading that. I didn’t know if I was glad he was letting me go. At the back of my head, I thought that this is it, we’re actually through. And it saddens me also we won’t be able to be friends after this.

            I’m so sorry I greatly crushed his ego and confidence. Those times when we fight, I have said the worst derogatory remarks. I was the reason why he is unaffectionate. There were times when our relationship was still young, that I refused talking about our feelings. I didn’t want his feelings for me grow because I wasn’t feeling anything for him. He knew that. I told him that beforehand.

            It was I who made the monster who he is now. Only to realize I was the incompetent one. My smarts and assets do not do me anything good at all. I was vile and inconsiderate. I was demanding. I am a complete asshole to him.

I couldn’t stop crying.

After this night,  I realized that this is the time I really wanted a drink.

Tear Worthy Moments

Last Night

His text message goes :

….papakilala mo bf mo. ‘yung di lang sino sino. ‘yung marunong di katulad ko. ‘yung mayaman di tulad ko. ‘yung kaya mong ipakilala sa parents mo di katulad ko, at mamahalin ka, di katulad ko na hindi mo minahal.”

            I was bursting in tears after reading that. I didn’t know if I was glad he was letting me go. At the back of my head, I thought that this is it, we’re actually through. And it saddens me also we won’t be able to be friends after this.

            I’m so sorry I greatly crushed his ego and confidence. Those times when we fight, I have said the worst derogatory remarks. I was the reason why he is unaffectionate. There were times when our relationship was still young, that I refused talking about our feelings. I didn’t want his feelings for me grow because I wasn’t feeling anything for him. He knew that. I told him that beforehand.

            It was I who made the monster who he is now. Only to realize I was the incompetent one. My smarts and assets do not do me anything good at all. I was vile and inconsiderate. I was demanding. I am a complete asshole to him.

I couldn’t stop crying.

After this night,  I realized that this is the time I really wanted a drink.

On Top

    There was a time when I looked down to my feet and saw multitudes of miniature buildings beneath me. My eyes wanted to swallow the view. To be atop of something, above all others is the most overwhelming feeling a person could feel. The fear of falling and the ecstasy of jumping swirled around my senses.