The Right One

    My Tita emailed me an article worth posting.

This is a very good article. read it.                                   

Those who are still single may learn something from here….         
    Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage….       
 DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?                

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.        
        She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"               

 I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,      
"It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do  you know?"   Let me answer this question because the chances are      good that it's weighing on your mind.                  

  Here's the answer.                              

  EVERY relationship has a cycle.

In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse.

You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.                             
 Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything.  That's why it's called "falling" in love… Because it's happening TO YOU.                     
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.   Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
 But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls       become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it  happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.   The symptoms of this stage vary w! ith every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.  At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry  the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with  someone else. This is when marriage s breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a  friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone  else. You could.  And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):         
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S  LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.  SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just  happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most im portantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your  marriage.  Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise & program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your      relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. ..you can "make" love.                               

 

    Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . Not just a feeling . 

   

    I hope I'm making the right decisions.

    I remembered something an sms he sent me weeks ago. I don't have the original message because I always delete his messages every time I get upset. It went on like, we are waiting for the right person to come to our lives, but what would we do if the wrong one comes along? And what if the wrong one is willing to become the one. Or something like that. Sorry, I have a very bad memory. Anyway, it was a funny thing for him to send because well, he perfectly knows how I think of him and I have been but frank with how I feel for him.

    It's just that sometimes I wonder if I'm being so mean towards him, and with regards to his perspective that he has done so much for me, sacrifices and all. And I admit that I am all too aware of things and still I couldn't convince myself that he is the one for me.

    From the very beginning I smelled the scent of desperation in him. And that's really flattering. I dunno. Perhaps not much guys have paid such ardor attention towards me who's willing to be an everyday part of my life. It's such an overwhelming yet irritating feeling at times when that person becomes to kulit to a point that he could persuade me (or force me or make me just give up) to say yes.

    One thing I've realized is that when it suddenly ends you'd wish you want to begin from the start.