Tumbling Down

MY LIFE IS SCREWED.

not that I’m proud of it or anything, posting this on my blog is my way of somehow acknowledging things.

at the end of the day, i kept on thinking on how i want to shoot myself.

but still, i come up with a sad, strange excuse on how there are a lot of things to get done,  like newly bought books to read, or points to be proven.  I don’t hate my life, (mainly to the fact on how privileged I am) it’s just that have I been limited with gifts, i could have gotten the things that I want to need. Had I been a “limited” person, the things I want would be so ordinarily reachable. And that I don’t have to want things I should deserve or  something. By then, happiness (for me) would have been a little shallow and very ordinary.

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I get frustrated easily (And mind you it’s not the stress.) and just recently like 3-4 hours ago (it’s 1:16 am as I’m writing this) I found out that my newly replaced laptop keyboards left arrow key is not working! And I’m putting the blame on my sister. She borrowed it (with my digicam) last Friday in pretense that she needed it to do some homework stuff. Then returns it to me today. Man, was I pissed off of. i just had my laptop fixed and now it already has a defect. And think about how expensive and hard to find its parts are!

So you must be saying, “Now, now Ruthy, it’s just a LAPTOP, a material possession, surely it’s not enough reason to hate your sister already.” My answer is a deep sigh, a frustrated face and a grunt. I try not to blame anyone, but it just ticks me off. I couldn’t even dare imagine some defect on my digicam too. It may be things to you, techy things, but these are few of my possessions that I call mine, even if I’m not the only one savoring it’s services.

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No more looking back. It’ll even frustrate me more to hope for something I’ve been hoping for years. I know that I have expensive taste on things but it’s a sure fire. Rather than opting for a cheap but damp match.
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