Kenneth

Warning: Entry is mushy.

My brother Mark, is named after a nursery friend. I remember that we used to be real close. We even made a pact that he will name his baby sister with my name, and I will name my little brother with his.

Although I believe that he, my nursery friend, is not my first love. I mean, we get to hold hands and all but we were just friends. I just didn’t have those mushy feelings around him.

My First crush seemed to be jerk. Kindergarten: at the age of four, this guy already curses. What piqued my interest in him is that he happens to also be a crush’s friend. So I thought he was crush worthy na rin.

Come Preparatory School. (I swear I really shouldn’t have taken this if it weren’t for the strict recommendations of the Nuns). Here I met my first love. We used to go to the same class. Rosas (pm). That was our section. Although unlike the feelings I had on my nursery friend and kindergarten crush, my feelings for my preparatory love seemed blurry. You see, PL used to cry a lot. Like really a lot. Every day, every hour, every time his dad is about to leave him at school, every time he needs to pee. Like its goddam irritating!

<I was thinking,.. maybe this kid just doesn’t know how fun school can be. I mean going to school is really like exciting! You get to learn stuff and understand better the things around you! it gives a period to all your question marks!!! *giddy feeling here*>

Then this certain incident happened:

Remember when you were a kid at prep school, wherein instead of books, your boxes occupy the shelves? You know, the boxes that contain- extra uniform, your toiletries, a towelette, and your place mat. We had that too! Well I have a girl best friend. And in exchange of all the nice stationeries she has been giving me, i decided to get her place mat as I get mine, so that she  wont get into trouble of standing up to take her own.

You do remember that sometimes, the shelves in the book shelf look all the same? Well, I kinda got mine, then got my best friends place mat too. But when I returned to my table, I saw that my best friend’s place mat was already neatly placed on her desk! So it means, I got the wrong place mat!!! I looked at my best friend and we understood each other.

She said I might have that cry baby’s mat. I was like, OMG. I want the earth to swallow me up now! It would be a total disaster when he finds out that i have his place mat. He’s gonna scream cry for sure! So as calmly as I can, I returned it neatly on his shelf.

And that was it. I think he really didn’t notice it missing in the first place. That was like a “whew” for me. And up to now, I couldn’t seem to forget that incident.

I dunno how I concluded that he was my first love. But all i know, he’s one of the few who touched my heart but left me empty afterwards.

After Prep I never heard of him. Ever. Up to now, I still wonder if he’s still that little kid, who cries endlessly, and who doesn’t know that he has touched a pathetic little girl’s heart.

I ask myself sometimes why him. Well, I could’ve fallen in love with that super talented, super intelligent and soon to be popular kid. But no. I fell for the wimp. At least, there’s one person who remembers him, not by his wails and screams, but how he made that little girl smile with just an outstretched hand and a hanky…

The END.

*Aaaack! Ang crappy. crappy. crappy.*

Hmm. I seem to like that word a lot.

Haven’t edited this yet.

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Narnia doesn’t have any magical feeling at all.